3 Tips To Save Your Relationship
Are You About To Breakup? Or Have You Already?
If you have broken up or you are about to breakup, you may be wanting to save your relationship. If you really want to, there are steps you can take to try to mend the problems. You have to ask yourself some questions. When you try to answer them, don’t lie…you are not talking to your partner here…you are talking to your ‘sole.’
Whether you’ve recently broken up, or you’re afraid you’re on the brink of a breakup, you can re-ignite the flame that the two of you once shared. It won’t necessarily be easy or fast, but if you’re committed to making it work there is hope to save your marriage.
3 Tips To Stop A Relationship Breakup
Here are some of the things you need to do to salvage and save your relationship. Keep these tips in mind when you are analyzing your relationship problems:
Save Your Relationship
1. Do You Really Want To Stay In This relationship?
I know this may sound like a dumb question but sometimes when we think we want to keep our relationship what we really mean is that we’re afraid of having to find someone new, or starting over. If you’re brutally honest with yourself you can determine if you really want to continue the relationship or if you’re just scared of being on your own.
Another part of this question is to determine if your partner really wants to work on the relationship too. Even if you decide that your relationship is worth saving, that doesn’t mean your partner shares your conviction or will be willing to invest the time and effort to work on your problems.
2. What Went Wrong?
Again, this will need to be done by both of you. This can be the hardest part, it’s always easier to blame someone else for the problems but it’s tougher to own up to your part in the break down of your relationship.
Before you can repair it you need to know not only what is broken but why it broke. The two of you may even want to visit a couples counselor to help you objectively work through this phase. Sometimes having an objective third party in the room can help you both stay calm and face things you may not have been willing or able to face on your own.
3. What Was The Initial Attraction…or Spark?
Try to remember what drew you to each other in the first place. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while you obviously loved and enjoyed each other. So often in a relationship what happens is that the ‘stronger’ one (or the most selfish one) controls the relationship. They become the one who tends to take more than they give. The other partner will take on the role of the giver. Over time the ‘taker’ will get bored because the fun loving person they fell in love with has become a doormat and the ‘giver’ will get sick of not getting their needs met often enough.
If your relationship has fallen into this trap you both need to take a step back and remember what attracted you to each other. This might be a good time to not only remember but to tell the other person. Remind them why you fell in love with them, and vice a versa.
Saving a relationship will take time, work, and commitment by both parties, but it can be done. If you think your relationship is worth saving and your partner thinks so too, then the steps to fix the breakup is easy!
Are You Healing A Broken Relationship?
What Caused Your Relationship Problem For It To Breakup?
If you are having to heal a broken relationship, it won’t be easy, but you can certainly try. Of course what caused your relationship breakdown will be what makes it more of a challenge.
So, this is one of the first things that will factor into how you should go about fixing your relationship…why the relationship is in trouble in the first place.
Is Your Relationship Broken Because of Infidelity?
If so, was it you or your partner that was the cheating spouse? Can you save your relationship after cheating? This type of relationship can be fixed but it is the hardest thing to overcome and both partners have to be willing to work very hard to make things right and learn to trust again.
With infidelity it would seem like the partner who cheated would have to do all the work, but that isn’t really the case. The truth of the matter is that it will take just as much work for the person who was cheated on to try to overcome their fear of being hurt again, their mistrust of their partner, as well as their anger and desire for revenge.
Broken Relationship
Has It Slowly Deteriorated Over Time?
If your relationship has broken down more gradually over time, this might be a little easier to mend. You need love to save your relationship. Of course, it will still take time and work and you both will need to be 100% committed to working on it.
Many relationships in this category die like a plant in a garden, from lack of nurturing. It’s not usually a big thing that ends it but rather a series of small, seemingly unimportant, things that will weaken the relationship to the point where it will break very easily.
This type of relationship will take an honest assessment of what each of you has done, or not done, to weaken the relationship. Once you’ve both admitted the part you’ve played in the breakdown of the relationship, at least to yourself, it’s time to sit down with your partner and honestly discuss what went wrong. You also have to discuss what you think needs to be done to make it right, as well as what you personally are willing do to fix the relationship.
You Have To Listen To Your Partner
This part of the process will be very difficult and will often lead to some big arguments. Why? Because this is the part where you will have to listen to your partner tell you why they aren’t happy with you. This won’t be easy for you to hear. The same goes for your partner when it’s your turn to talk. Very often one partner won’t be able to deal with what they perceive as criticism when their partner is trying to explain why they aren’t happy. Once that happens it will often end up in a screaming match and nothing will get accomplished.
This is the point where you and your partner, will need to be reasonable adults. If neither one of you is able to calmly listen to your partner while they try to explain what has made them unhappy in the relationship you won’t have any chance at all of working things out.
Healing a broken relationship isn’t impossible, but it will take work. If you or your partner aren’t able to be mature and able to face your faults and be willing to work on changing them then you will have a much harder time of fixing your relationship.
