Do You Have A Spendthrift Spouse?
When you are married, spendthrift spending is destructive to the household budget and the marriage. When you are single and only have yourself to worry about, your spending methods only affect you if you are a spendthrift.
Some people act as if they have unlimited wealth even though they need to live within a particular budget. They get a dollar in their pocket and will spend that dollar right away. Often people who can’t manage their money spend the dollar plus whatever other money they can borrow or find.
There are many divorces which have occurred as a result of one spouse never learning how to manage money. It would be nice if people determined they have the same financial goals and are willing to pursue those goals methodically, but finances are not even included in many pre-marital discussions. That means you have to deal with the differences in spending patterns and philosophies after you get married.
Someone who spends money without regard for the household budget can create a living nightmare. People like this exhibit certain behaviors.
- Spends every dime earned including bonuses or unexpected income
- Purchases items that do not need to be purchased at this point
- Is willing to buy big-ticket items even if it takes every available penny
- Doesn’t think about creating a rainy day account
- Doesn’t plan ahead financially
- Overspends on holidays
- Often spends money secretly
- Is constantly withdrawing any savings that manages to be put away
The net result of living with a spendthrift spouse is that the other spouse must also live with the consequences. It’s not unusual for a household that has one person spending all the money to run into serious financial problems. Even if your husband or wife only spends exactly what is earned, there is no wiggle room for emergencies. When the car breaks down or the roof needs repairs, money must be borrowed to make ends meet.
Talking About Money
Talking about how money will be handled in a household is important. When you have a spendthrift spouse it’s also important to make sure he or she understand the financial structure under which you both are operating. You can review income and expenses and also create a savings plan. If your spouse will not cooperate there are various ways to save money anyway.
- Automatic deductions from a check that go into savings
- Automatic withdrawals from checking into savings
- Separate savings accounts that are difficult to access
With a spendthrift spouse you will most likely have to have the opportunity to spend some money on pleasure items. You will have to compromise because it is his or her money as much as yours.
When talking about money you should not actually call your spouse a spendthrift. In fact you should not call your spouse any name. This is a sure way to get the financial discussion off to the wrong start. Instead you need to have a calm discussion about money that results in a practical budget you can both accept. You should approach the discussion prepared to show how reckless spending is causing problems. You need to let your spouse know how it affects you emotionally and is negatively impacting the budget.
Dealing with Financial Consequences
When you find yourself living with a spendthrift spouse, you may also find yourself dealing with the consequences of the spouse’s poor decision making. There may be collection calls, constant new bills showing up in the mailbox and never enough money to properly take care of the household expenses. There are several routes you can take.
- Get outside help through a financial counselor
- Seek credit counseling assistance
- Work out a financial plan with your spouse that pays past debts and prevents new ones
There is really no magic formula to deal with the problem of someone who spends all the available money. But it is important to take steps to deal with the problem in order to relieve your misery while protecting the marriage. Since financial problems are one of the top reasons why people divorce, you can stop divorce by constructively dealing with the problems as quickly as possible.
Read our review on ‘Save My Marriage Today‘
How Can I Save My Marriage Nothing Seems To Work
There are as many types of marriages as there are married couples and as long they work for the couple and any kids involved, then they work. The problems is a lot of us start wondering ‘How can I save my marriage?’ without knowing exactly what we’re trying to “save” in the first place. After all, it’s not your marriage certificate you’re trying to save, but the relationship the two of you have.
Take some time to think over the type of relationship you want. Once you have a fairly clear vision of your ideal marriage, talk it over with your spouse. Hopefully, your visions will be similar, but if not, at least you’ll be able to see exactly what’s been holding up your negotiations.
Be honest about your behavior
You’ve heard it all before: don’t criticize, be respectful, listen attentively. You know deep down that’s how you should be talking to each other, but is that really how you’re doing it? The way we talk to our partners tends to become a reflex over the years, so you’ll really have to pay attention to root out any problems. One good way to get a more objective view is to imagine your spouse were a casual acquaintance. If it’s not polite enough to say to someone you hardly know, then it’s not polite enough to say to your spouse, either.
Release the blame
One of the first steps towards repairing a marriage is letting go of the need to blame the other person for anything. Let’s face it, keep trying to reach an agreement on whose fault each little problem is and you’ll be going around in circles indefinitely. So long as there are only two people in your marriage, both of you are each 50% responsible for any problems that come up. Even if you’re spouse has been unfaithful, you still need to address anything you might have done that lead to that or.
Commit to improving
Once you’ve managed to get past the blame game stage, the next step in answering the question ‘How can I save my marriage?’ commitment to making efforts to treat each other better. It can help to pick certain things you want to work on like nagging less or spending more quality time together.
These tips will get you started towards making up with your spouse, but naturally there’s a lot more to it that this. It’s no good to keep asking yourself, ‘How can I save my marriage?’ without taking action to get some qualified advice and take action to improve your relationship as soon as possible. Whether you decide to go in for counseling or find a good self-help book, do something to ‘Save My Marriage Today‘.