Dating For Seniors and Finding Someone Special
January 30, 2010 by Mary
Filed under Senior Dating
The days of seniors sitting around alone and without a relationship are long gone. More and more seniors are instead choosing to look for companionship, friendship, and yes, even dating when they find themselves alone. Seniors have unique issues and things to consider when it comes to dating but in no time at all you’ll be able to head back out into the dating world.
Don’t Feel Guilty About Dating - Who Cares What ‘They’ Think
The first question many seniors ask themselves is should they be dating or not? They worry or feel guilty about looking for companionship after losing their spouse, they may think they have nothing to offer a companion, or they may just be a little bit afraid to do something they haven’t done in a very long time.
The issue of feeling guilty is probably the biggest one that seniors struggle to overcome they may worry what their children will think, what their friends will think, or even tell themselves they don’t deserve another relationship, to bring some companionship and fun back into their lives. Nobody can tell you to stop feeling guilty and have it automatically happen, but you can find ways to get past these kinds of feelings and feel more comfortable dating again.
A really good place to start is to stop thinking in terms of dating somebody else. Instead, think in terms of looking for a friend, finding someone to enjoy time with, or simply finding a person who can help relieve any loneliness you might be feeling. There doesn’t have to be anything romantic about this at all. In fact, most seniors don’t start out looking specifically for romance; rather, they start out looking for a friend. It’s only later on when the possibility of romance is even considered.
How Do You Find Someone Special?
Figuring out how to go about finding someone special can be daunting. Should you go online? Should you run an ad in the paper? Where can you go and what can you do to find others who have common interests with you? Twenty years ago your options would have been pretty limited, but as more and more baby boomers move into their senior years the opportunities for socializing, forming friendships, and finding companionship have expanded dramatically.
Online Dating
There are many, many online dating sites for seniors. You can do a simple Google search for seniors dating and find literally hundreds of resources online. Seniors dating sites can be based on age, location, preferences such as religion or the like, or any number of other categories.
Personal Ads
Just about every newspaper has a section for personal ads. You might think these kinds of ads are only for younger people, but if you really take a look at what’s there you’ll find more and more seniors using them as a way to find friendship and companionship. One of the benefits of using a personal ad in the newspaper is that you’ll be searching locally rather than across a wide area such as you would with an online site.
Social Activities
It doesn’t take much looking around to find a host of different social activities where you can find other seniors who are looking for friendship or companionship as well. Start with your local senior center, where you’re likely to find dances, potluck dinners, morning coffee groups, book clubs, and other opportunities to meet other seniors. If you belong to a church, keep an eye on the weekly bulletin and you might find a social activity planned for seniors in the church. If you don’t find one, why not take the lead and organize one yourself?
Just Relax
For most seniors, building up their social life can be pretty nerve wracking at first. It may bring back all sorts of thoughts about first dates, approaching someone new, and the like. The best approach is to just relax and be yourself because chances are the other people you’re meeting are probably feeling something pretty similar.
A good way to get past your nerves is start with group situations. Mingle with the people around you, and avoid the temptation to just stand in the quarter or be shy about starting a conversation. One of the advantages seniors have is a whole lifetime of experience, which gives them an awful lot to talk about when getting to know other people.
Most importantly, don’t rush into a new relationship or allow yourself to be pushed into something that’s more serious than what you really want. Take your time and think about taking things just one day at a time. This will help you avoid making a hasty decision about getting involved with someone who may not be the best match for you.
